In this life I'm a woman.
In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear.
When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.
When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping, and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.
If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat. "Yup...gonna be a bear." .
April 7, 2007
Kids say the darndest things..
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
* Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
* Kirsten, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
* Camille, age 10
No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
* Freddie, age 6
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
* Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
* Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
* Lynnette, age 8
On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
* Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
* Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
* Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
* Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
* Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out.
* Theodore, age 8
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
* Anita, age 9
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
*Kelvin, age 8
"And the #1 Favorite is........"
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
*Ricky, age 10
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
* Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
* Kirsten, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
* Camille, age 10
No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
* Freddie, age 6
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
* Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
* Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
* Lynnette, age 8
On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
* Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
* Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
* Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
* Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
* Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out.
* Theodore, age 8
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
* Anita, age 9
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
*Kelvin, age 8
"And the #1 Favorite is........"
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
*Ricky, age 10
5 important lessons in life..
1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.
During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" Surely this was some kind of joke.
I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank.
Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. "Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello." I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.
2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain
One night, at11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance, and put her into a taxicab. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached.. It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others." Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.
3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked. "Fifty cents," replied the waitress. The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it. "Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. "Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied. The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies.. You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.
4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables.
Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road.
After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been.
The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness.
The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her."
As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek.
Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away". Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.
So, what important lesson did you need to be reminded of today? Truth is we all probably need to be reminded from time to time and..
Most importantly......
"Work like you don't need the money,
love like you've never been hurt,
and dance like you do when nobody's watching."
During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" Surely this was some kind of joke.
I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank.
Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. "Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello." I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.
2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain
One night, at11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance, and put her into a taxicab. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached.. It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others." Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.
3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked. "Fifty cents," replied the waitress. The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it. "Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. "Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied. The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies.. You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.
4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables.
Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road.
After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been.
The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness.
The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her."
As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek.
Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away". Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.
So, what important lesson did you need to be reminded of today? Truth is we all probably need to be reminded from time to time and..
Most importantly......
"Work like you don't need the money,
love like you've never been hurt,
and dance like you do when nobody's watching."
To a Keeper..
To A Keeper,
One day someone's husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmthof their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimesthere isn't any more. No more hugs, no more special moments to celebratetogether, no more phone calls just to chat, no more "just one minute."Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away . . neverto return before we can say good-bye, say "I love you.
So while we have it . . . it's best we love it . . . and care for it . and fixit when it's broken . . . and heal it when it's sick. This is true for marriage. . and old cars . . . and children with bad report cards and dogs with bad hipsand aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it,because we are worth it.
Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away or a classmate wegrew up with. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what.
Life is important, like people we know who are special . . . and so, We keep them close!
One day someone's husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmthof their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimesthere isn't any more. No more hugs, no more special moments to celebratetogether, no more phone calls just to chat, no more "just one minute."Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away . . neverto return before we can say good-bye, say "I love you.
So while we have it . . . it's best we love it . . . and care for it . and fixit when it's broken . . . and heal it when it's sick. This is true for marriage. . and old cars . . . and children with bad report cards and dogs with bad hipsand aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it,because we are worth it.
Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away or a classmate wegrew up with. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what.
Life is important, like people we know who are special . . . and so, We keep them close!
isnt it ironic??
Just last week i was asked to write articles for a magazine..strangely..the more i think about it the less i can come up with something..before hearing about this task,i would be coming up with ideas till late at night..sometimes even wakin up in the middle of the night to write things down..ironically when i need it the most..my creative juices seem to have deserted me and ran out..
aaaaarggh!!!..now WHAT???..the worst part of all of it is that i also have a deadline to meet..so incase i dont meet it..basically..i am DEAD..HELLPP!!!
aaaaarggh!!!..now WHAT???..the worst part of all of it is that i also have a deadline to meet..so incase i dont meet it..basically..i am DEAD..HELLPP!!!
Just a thought...
i've heard this one song that just doesnt seem to get outta my head.especially this one line that goes.."then i woke up and i realised;that i was livin one big lie..."doesnt that make u wonder..practically every song on the radio or the tv has atleast one line that speaks about livin in an illusion..so that means that it isnt just a one off thing but a spreadin phenomenon..i mean is that all our lives hav come down to??livin in an illusionistic world..wher everythin is nothin but merely an illusion-a fantasy-a dream??a creation of our own neverland..wher u dnt ever wake up..a world so far away frm reality that u dnt kno wher the dream ends n reality begins(if it indeed ever does begin..?)??..its kinda freaky if that is true..like we r livin in a matrix of our own makin..except that thers no "neo" to save u but urself..when u realise that u r actually trapped in it..scary but true..isnt it??think about it..i kno i will.
Where has all the time gone???
AAh..Easter..comin up around the bend..like..tomoro..can hardly believe its already been a year..it seems like it was yesterday tht i was just finishing up with school..cant believe tht in another year i will be not only out of school but also out of college..just goes to show how time flies..or rather how the sands of time trickle through your fingers..you cant hold on to it or let it go completely(cos then it wouldnt be living)..but somehow without you realising it..its gone..a moment, a minute, a week , a month seems to jet past you in what seems like an instant..
today you seem to live life just for the heck of it..it aint like the yesteryears when every minute was cherished n treasured..when each day of life gave you plenty of unforgettable memories that added to the variety and richness of life..todays life is just a rat race..we're so caught up in getting to places that we fail to enjoy the journey gettin there..
just makes you stop and think doesnt it???..sometimes the yesteryears dont seem like such a bad place afterall..
today you seem to live life just for the heck of it..it aint like the yesteryears when every minute was cherished n treasured..when each day of life gave you plenty of unforgettable memories that added to the variety and richness of life..todays life is just a rat race..we're so caught up in getting to places that we fail to enjoy the journey gettin there..
just makes you stop and think doesnt it???..sometimes the yesteryears dont seem like such a bad place afterall..
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