March 22, 2015

Life is but a (bored) game ... We may be grown ups, but have we grown up?

Anyone born before 1990, will have fond memories of the board games they played as a child. As we move into the age where 3 year olds have iPads and the young ones consider board games to be what grandma and gramps play to entertain themselves, I have come to realise that, us, of the board game generation, still carry over the lessons learned there to our work and relationships. So welcome to Dating 101. Also known as 'Everything I know about relationships, I got from the playtime'. 

Chess - it is all about strategy my friend. Back when I was a kid, my dad introduced me to the game with the explanation that every great military leader ought to have been a great chess player for the sheer use of well planned strategy and tactile moves across that black and white chequered board. 
In which case, modern dating ought to have made great generals of us all. Dating no longer involves 'outdated' concepts of courtship. Today, it is all about the strategic dance of who has the power. At least at the start of the relationship. For some unfortunate souls, it is the whole relationship. 
If I say this, he/she will think that. If I do this, they will do that. Give a little, but take a lot more. Do not let the 'opponent' guess your strategy. For what a terrible thing for them to know what my long-term intentions are.
After all, the one who cares less, has more power. Power is the ultimate winner in all of this. And in this game, I am not about to start losing now.

Monopoly - My pursuit of you will be in direct proportion to how much everyone else seems to want you. If you aren't 'hot property' (pun intended) you aren't worth my time! 
Of course once I actually have you, I will be happy and ecstatic gloating over my victory.... Until I 
a) am bored of you 
b) do not need you 
for I can now move on to the next 'hot property' at which time you will be unceremoniously traded in (read 'dumped without any warning or explanation')

Chutes and ladders/ Ludo - this one is easy. You can do countless little things that may win you brownie points. You can even knock it out of the park with grand romantic gestures, aka ladders. However, one step in the wrong direction (intentional or perceived), and you, my friend could find yourself back to square one of the dating game, having to start all over again, waiting. Rolling the dice till you get a six, only to begin the journey all over again. If you're successful, you may just make it all the way to the top of the board and have your 'win' (marriage, as society would have us believe), if not, you may be in for a long game of loop de loop.

Taboo - Last but not the lest, this one is my personal favourite. And more so because over the last few years (read 5 or more) my friends and I have spent many an evening (and bottle of mind numbing spirits) trying to decode what their significant others have/have not meant when they said/did XYZ. It is like, Taboo was invented for the sole purpose of messing with people's minds.
Rules of the game - the message you are trying to convey is X but you cannot say X because that is 'Taboo'. However, you can say everything else BUT X to get the message across! Goodbye sanity, hello endless nights of insomnia. Good luck with figuring that one out!
Is it that much of a bad thing to speak your mind #nofilter? Imagine all the time and energy that could have been spent doing something fruitful rather than playing pointless games of Russian roulette. #WastedDaysWastedNights

Please note: If at all there exists a scientific explanation to any of this, I'd be interested to see what this iPad generation turns out like - all hidden behind a screen, is what I'd say if I had to guess. If i had a choice, i'd rather be taken back to the days when every action and word did not have a dozen interpretations attached to them. Until then, I'll just be over at the next table spinning the wheel on this game of 'life'.

Translating corporate lingo - What your boss means when he says...

If you are over 21, chances are you are a working professional...toiling away for the profit of a larger company aka 'The Corporate'. In todays world, more often than not,a vast majority of us are white collared 'labourers' who indirectly work for yet another exorbitantly paid 'labourer' (aka our bosses)

From the experience of anyone who has ever worked for a life-(and happiness) sucking corporation, here's decoding what your boss says and what he/she means.

"We'll discuss this later"
It means "I don't have any valid reasons to give you now so we'll discuss this when I can come up with some harebrained logic that will confuse you enough to get you off this argument"

"I want you to work on ABC's team"
It means "I like ABC a lot cos he/she sucks up to me (in or out of the boardroom/ bed room) and since I want ABC to look good without getting him/her to do any actual work, I'd rather you be the donkey for now."

"You are doing such a good job" It means "I urgently need that report and since you're the only one who I know can finish it in time by screwing it up the least, here's some more work for you to do so you can spend yet another night in the office"

"You are the only one I trust with this task/report/project" It means "I am paying you a compliment so that you feel better about staying back after office hours to do a job that I completely forgot about until my boss asked me for it an hour back"

"You have so much potential. But if you move now, you will waste it at the new workplace."
It means "Who else will I drop my last minute work on when my boss kicks my butt on a Friday evening? Where else will I find another willing idiot who forgets the need for a social life in order to be my donkey for the weekend? God forbid, I may even have to do the work myself *Shudder*"

"I know we promised you a raise this year, but HR has only allocated a much smaller budget for our team. I will see that we close the gap next year"
It means "I was hoping you would have forgotten our conversation from last year. HR has given me enough money to give the entire team a decent pay raise, but I have to ensure my cronies/minions are paid thrice what they are worth so that you can do your job (and theirs) for 1/3 of your actual pay. I assure you I will repeat this lame excuse at the end of the next appraisal as well. By then you will be so over-worked and frustrated, that you will resign and I will find another willing (and ignorant) slave to take your place."

"I have a good team"
It means "I am king of the world and you my serfs will forever be tied to my fiefdom. Atleast as long as you shall work for this company. *Insert manic evil laughter*"

March 13, 2011

All in Your Mind :)

Who am I, What am I, Why am I here,
as you gain knowledge,
all will become clear.

You ask who you are,
be it daughter or son,
you are unique, the only one.

Throughout your existence,
this you must treasure,
just think, I am me,
it will give you pleasure.

You can decide who you will be,
look in the mirror and you're sure to see.
You can be what you want, regardless of others,
keep your ideals, bad influence smothers.

The more you listen,
the more you will learn,
as you gain knowledge,
respect you will earn.

The choices you make,
for the rest of your life,
will determine if,
it's joy or strife.

Evil will follow your life from afar,
stay true to yourself
and you'll know, ''who you are''.

You ask what am I,
you're a human being,
open your eyes and soon you'll be seeing.

Your here for a reason and like it or not,
what you will be , cannot be bought.
You have a mind and you have a choice,
think what you say, there's trouble in voice.

All of your actions have a knock on effect,
think of others,show them respect.
Think of your options with some precision,
think of the outcomes before that decision.

Before you make them be aware,
the choices you make will show if you care.
You are responsible for knowledge you've found,
try to remember to pass it around.

Life is for sharing with family and friends,
strive to ensure that this never ends.
Try to Judge yourself from afar,if you like what you see,
you will know, ''what you are''.

Then as you grow and your life's unfurled,
you'll learn this can be, a wonderful world.
You'll learn life's about sharing and giving,
you will find happiness, caring and living.

You will meet someone special and love will flow,
life is too short so take it slow.
If you can then live with your life full of cheer,
you'll have learned the lesson of ,''why you are here''.

If you've asked all these questions,
I think you will find, the answers you seek are,
''All In Your Mind''.

In my Next life i wanna be.....

In this life I'm a woman.

In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear.

When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping, and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

"Yup...gonna be a bear!!!" *grin*

What Happens When You Drink Alcohol;P

Side effects of alcohol ... and remedies!!!

1. Symptom : Cold and humid feet.
Cause : Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the drink on your feet).
Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward

2. Symptom : The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause : You're lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.

3. Symptom : The floor looks blurry.
Cause : You're looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill with your favorite beverage.

4. Symptom : The floor is moving.
Cause : You're being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they're taking you.

5. Symptom : You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause : You have your glass on your ear.
Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself!

6. Symptom : The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive. Cause : You're in an ambulance.
Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.

7. Symptom : Your dad and all your brothers are looking funny.
Cause : You're in the wrong house.
Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house.
Cheers !! ;)

January 2, 2010

In tribute to all my friends

To all my friends,(both old and new)
I want to start off by saying a big "THANK YOU!!"

Time passes by too quickly to say
How thankful i am for you each day

With a hug or a smile you light up my life,
through times of joy and times of strife;)
You've been my strength, my support, my guide...
I know i cannot fail
For i have you by my side

Late night assignments and endless phone calls
Laughing and cribbing about life's curveballs
Hurried meetings and stolen time that ends too fast
'Sterling' moments, Shopping, Sleepovers...
Priceless memories we've amassed

YOU have made the last year worthwhile
Thanks to you, we've lived it up in style!

So i'm sending you hugs and love from across the miles
And i pray that the new year is full of them too
With loads of happiness,contentment and smiles
So life is nothing less than AWESOME for you!!

PS: Lowe ALL of you loads and loads<3<3<3...Thanks for being there when it has mattered the most. Here's looking forward to a future of loads more time with you:):)...Mwah!!!HUGS!!!


Remember all the things we wanted
Now all my memories they're haunted
I thought we'd never have to say goodbye

All of those things we used to do
Are drenched in memories of you
Of long conversations under a star lit night

What started with a perfect kiss
Now only reminds me of this
Perfect couldn't keep our love alive

I just want you to know
I couldn't have done any better
I can't make a right from wrong

If someone's gotta go
You can be the first to know

Since there's no moving on
I've dragged myself halfway out the door
So if you wait too long
By the time you turn around
I'll be already gone