Life is but a (bored) game ... We may be grown ups, but have we grown up?

Anyone born before 1990, will have fond memories of the board games they played as a child. As we move into the age where 3 year olds have iPads and the young ones consider board games to be what grandma and gramps play to entertain themselves, I have come to realise that, us, of the board game generation, still carry over the lessons learned there to our work and relationships. So welcome to Dating 101. Also known as 'Everything I know about relationships, I got from the playtime'. 

Chess - it is all about strategy my friend. Back when I was a kid, my dad introduced me to the game with the explanation that every great military leader ought to have been a great chess player for the sheer use of well planned strategy and tactile moves across that black and white chequered board. 

In which case, modern dating ought to have made great generals of us all. Dating no longer involves 'outdated' concepts of courtship. Today, it is all about the strategic dance of who has the power. At least at the start of the relationship. For some unfortunate souls, it is the whole relationship. 

If I say this, he/she will think that. If I do this, they will do that. Give a little, but take a lot more. Do not let the 'opponent' guess your strategy. For what a terrible thing for them to know what my long-term intentions are.

After all, the one who cares less, has more power. Power is the ultimate winner in all of this. And in this game, I am not about to start losing now.

Monopoly - My pursuit of you will be in direct proportion to how much everyone else seems to want you. If you aren't 'hot property' (pun intended) you aren't worth my time! 

Of course once I actually have you, I will be happy and ecstatic gloating over my victory.... Until I 

a) am bored of you 

b) do not need you 

for I can now move on to the next 'hot property' at which time you will be unceremoniously traded in (read 'dumped without any warning or explanation')

Chutes and ladders/ Ludo - this one is easy. You can do countless little things that may win you brownie points. You can even knock it out of the park with grand romantic gestures, aka ladders. However, one step in the wrong direction (intentional or perceived), and you, my friend could find yourself back to square one of the dating game, having to start all over again, waiting. Rolling the dice till you get a six, only to begin the journey all over again. If you're successful, you may just make it all the way to the top of the board and have your 'win' (marriage, as society would have us believe), if not, you may be in for a long game of loop de loop.

Taboo - Last but not the lest, this one is my personal favourite. And more so because over the last few years (read 5 or more) my friends and I have spent many an evening (and bottle of mind numbing spirits) trying to decode what their significant others have/have not meant when they said/did XYZ. It is like, Taboo was invented for the sole purpose of messing with people's minds.

Rules of the game - the message you are trying to convey is X but you cannot say X because that is 'Taboo'. However, you can say everything else BUT X to get the message across! Goodbye sanity, hello endless nights of insomnia. Good luck with figuring that one out!

Is it that much of a bad thing to speak your mind #nofilter? Imagine all the time and energy that could have been spent doing something fruitful rather than playing pointless games of Russian roulette. #WastedDaysWastedNights

Please note: If at all there exists a scientific explanation to any of this, I'd be interested to see what this iPad generation turns out like - all hidden behind a screen, is what I'd say if I had to guess. If i had a choice, i'd rather be taken back to the days when every action and word did not have a dozen interpretations attached to them. Until then, I'll just be over at the next table spinning the wheel on this game of 'life'.

Translating corporate lingo - What your boss means when he says...

If you are over 21, chances are you are a working professional...toiling away for the profit of a larger company aka 'The Corporate'. In todays world, more often than not,a vast majority of us are white collared 'labourers' who indirectly work for yet another exorbitantly paid 'labourer' (aka our bosses)

From the experience of anyone who has ever worked for a life-(and happiness) sucking corporation, here's decoding what your boss says and what he/she means.

"We'll discuss this later"
It means "I don't have any valid reasons to give you now so we'll discuss this when I can come up with some harebrained logic that will confuse you enough to get you off this argument"

"I want you to work on ABC's team"
It means "I like ABC a lot cos he/she sucks up to me (in or out of the boardroom/ bed room) and since I want ABC to look good without getting him/her to do any actual work, I'd rather you be the donkey for now."

"You are doing such a good job" It means "I urgently need that report and since you're the only one who I know can finish it in time by screwing it up the least, here's some more work for you to do so you can spend yet another night in the office"

"You are the only one I trust with this task/report/project" It means "I am paying you a compliment so that you feel better about staying back after office hours to do a job that I completely forgot about until my boss asked me for it an hour back"

"You have so much potential. But if you move now, you will waste it at the new workplace."
It means "Who else will I drop my last minute work on when my boss kicks my butt on a Friday evening? Where else will I find another willing idiot who forgets the need for a social life in order to be my donkey for the weekend? God forbid, I may even have to do the work myself *Shudder*"

"I know we promised you a raise this year, but HR has only allocated a much smaller budget for our team. I will see that we close the gap next year"
It means "I was hoping you would have forgotten our conversation from last year. HR has given me enough money to give the entire team a decent pay raise, but I have to ensure my cronies/minions are paid thrice what they are worth so that you can do your job (and theirs) for 1/3 of your actual pay. I assure you I will repeat this lame excuse at the end of the next appraisal as well. By then you will be so over-worked and frustrated, that you will resign and I will find another willing (and ignorant) slave to take your place."

"I have a good team"
It means "I am king of the world and you my serfs will forever be tied to my fiefdom. Atleast as long as you shall work for this company. *Insert manic evil laughter*"